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The smell of chlorine and brine rose from the depths...

Dec. 9th, 2006 | 04:09 pm
My Whereabouts: Home, Basement
My Current Mood: thoughtful
What I'm Listining Too: Radiohead - "Like Spinning Plates"

"I will swallow you all in a white washed haze filled with cataracts and catacombs of endless dreaming. You will be tossed about in a dark stormy sea of turmoil, its white crested and toothed waves beckoning and mocking your eminent situation. No others will watch, no others would even dare to scream for help, they only care to smell your mangled body, it will be drenched in cold salty spray. The depths of this ocean starves for you, not unlike a giant black dog starves in the night... its open maw drooling constantly, flowing with strands of musty remnants and slick crystal. You will be consumed by this beast, this animal, this force, and there will be no denying its existence afterword, mark the words I write."

-Page 12 of Simon Sinclaire's "Omnius Portum - Notes on the Outer Planes"

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Some Free Verse

Sep. 20th, 2006 | 10:48 pm
My Whereabouts: Home, Bedroom
What I'm Listining Too: Godspeed You! Black Emperor "The Dead Flag Blues"

Heres something Ive been writing, its a little self-indulgent, none of you will probably understand it, but thats what hopefully makes it cool.

Border my 1+1 delusion
Call it a sin against confusion
Dream that you may drink me
The glass is already empty
Sweet-talk my slow rising crescendo
Prismatic voices call for an unrelenting hope

The others call from stretched-faced hallways
Taunting and bribing a fatherless future
The smiles always looked better sideways
Dreams cover a coffee stained truth

Significant scars separate what should be bound
Words not spoken created the lines
Silence will only deafen the wanted sound
Others cannot create them

This is fun... Expect more of it I guess.

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There's This Girl... And This Guy...

Jul. 28th, 2006 | 11:43 am
My Whereabouts: Home, Bedroom
My Current Mood: Lovesick
What I'm Listining Too: Robert Johnson "Kindhearted Woman Blues"

There’s this girl you see, and she’s quite an amazing one, really… I hang out with her quite a bit while I’m with the rest of my friends; and we’re also planning to do a few things together in the future. I’m more than grateful to have ever met her. Her personality constantly draws me toward her; it makes me feel like I’m some sort of lovesick magnet.
She’s so much more then just a friend to me now, over time, she’s become someone I can confide in most deeply, someone who wont persecute me when it comes to appearance or a difference in ideas.
She and I are quite different (right down to our tastes in music… The Mars Volta DOES kick ass!); but difference is something to be respected and admired, nothing ever seems to get boring or stale when she’s around.
Sometimes I feel as though I’m chasing something that will never be caught, that’s the selfish, saddening thought; it hurts to say it sometimes. Sometime soon I’m either going to have to swallow my pride, and tell her straight up, or forget about the whole thing, as painful as it might sound.

I don’t want to forget this feeling.

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Bitter Expression

Jul. 24th, 2006 | 11:43 am
My Whereabouts: Home, Bedroom
My Current Mood: Unsure
What I'm Listining Too: Thom Yorke "Cymbal Rush"

We’re all constantly being shaped by our own world. My mind is constantly being reshaped and contorted after every single experience, after every single thought… It’s a lot like a stormy sea, untamed, and far from being ready to slow for passing ships. The way I feel I’m shaped right now upsets me, I’ve become distant to those I love and those I want to love, soft and impressionable, and very tired. I don’t even know how to change these feelings of detachment. I just wish it would stop, I think anybody would. I’m really hoping these ideas and insecurities get painted over soon.

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Titans of the Mind

Jun. 8th, 2006 | 08:54 am
My Whereabouts: Programming Class
My Current Mood: Anxious
What I'm Listining Too: Raising the Fawn "Christmastime in the Fields"

Sitting has never been more uncomfortable, especially with exams drawing near, its an un-shakeable angst. I can’t help but feel a sense of futility as I type lines of code into my programming assignments, there's so much to do, and time is little. I think to myself every now and then, “only if I had started earlier, only if I had stayed focused”... but self pity is something I usually forsake. To day-dream is to live, and that’s my issue right now, I'm day-dreaming too much. My fantasy and my reality have collided, and are fighting to the death, competing for supremacy. For my own sake, I can only hope that reality crushes its determined opponent. It’s an epic battle in my eyes, and casualties will not be spared.

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